How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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