i think my mom watched the whole time
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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