Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
