please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
