i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
