You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
