Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
