you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
