I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
