Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
