It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
