I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
