chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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