did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
