for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
sex in a hospital.. check
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
