I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
oh god was she eating orange peels again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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