Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
