Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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