This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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