ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
