Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
