So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
