I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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