Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
