Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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