he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
