Do vagina's smell?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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