Nicole vs. Life
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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