just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
