its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
