Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
lol hangovers are for mortals.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
