their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
