Sponge bath it is.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
