My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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