He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
