do herpes really smell.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
