is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I love you. Go after that dick
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
