I can tuck mytits in my pants
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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