Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
