I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
