Im at strip club and am horny
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
