Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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