I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
