I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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