i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Holy shit dude........stairs
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