Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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