she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
