I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
