we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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