Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
