walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
