Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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